How to Love Your Body

Just read a blog over at Livestrong where the author talks about getting an e-mail from someone who said "I hate my body." ("Cut Through the BS")

Now, you all know that I am an overweight barefoot runner.  There are a lot of people out there who might think I should hate my body.

But I don't.

I used to hate my body, but now I don't.  I love my body.

I don't believe that love is a REaction. I think love is an ACTION.

I wrote a post about "How to Love Your Voice" over at my Avocational Singer Blog.

What I wrote over there is about how the example of the loving actions a mother takes on behalf of the child she loves can serve as a template for how to love our voices. I highly recommend you check the ideas out in that post because it also can serve as a way to understand how to love our bodies.

An example of loving or hating one's body based on a REaction would be something like this:  I look in the mirror and I approve of what I see -- meets my conditions for acceptability -- and then I feel love for my body.  Or I look in the mirror and don't approve of what I see -- doesn't meet my conditions for acceptability -- and then I feel hate for my body.

A lot of people want to run because they are hoping that running will be a tool to shape them into the kind of body that they can love.  They come from a place of not loving their bodies, and wanting to transform their bodies so that some time in the future they can love their bodies.

But I would like to assert here that it is love for our bodies that transforms.  We have to start with the love.  Love that is put into action.

Using the same analogy as loving our children, we can treat our body as that "child" of ours that we love.

We don't force our children to do unbearably difficult exercise, stand over them and holler and get them to repeat laps and reps.  We try to find something they enjoy and have fun doing, like take them to the playground and let them swing from the monkey bars,  so that they don't even realize that they're getting exercise.  We sacrifice our time to bring them to the playground after school and on weekends, because we want them to have that benefit and not just sit inside and live a sedentary life.  We want them to breathe fresh air and hear the rustle of the leaves in the trees and feel the wind on their cheeks and the warmth of the sun because we LOVE them.

We make sure they go to bed at a decent hour because we want them to feel good.  We know they will be able to function better in their day at school, be in a more cheerful mood, thus eliciting more positive responses from the people around them.  We know their immune systems will function better.  We make sure they go to bed because we LOVE them.

We bring them to the doctor when they are sick and remove them from activities and let them lie on the couch and color and watch TV because we want them to get well.  We take care of their injuries, and make them stop activities so that they can be whole again to enjoy those same activities to the fullest.  We do that because we LOVE them.

We make sure we shop for the kinds of foods that will build and repair their growing cells, tissues, muscles, bones.  We provide nutritious meals for them.  We let them have treats, but within limits.  We don't starve them, beat them, deprive them.  We give them good things in a good way so that they can grow.  We go to a lot of trouble to feed them this way because we LOVE them.

Well, if you replace the word "body" for "children" in the preceding examples, it might be easy see that it is by loving actions towards our bodies that we will have the greatest impact on them.  They will be formed in the most optimal way.

By loving ourselves this way, we don't have to wait until some transformation that turns us into something lovable, because we can be lovable as we are right now.  Not a future lovable.  A NOW lovable.

Bunker Roy: Learning from a barefoot movement | Video on TED.com

Wow, did you know there was a Barefoot College?

The philosphies of this Barefoot College are very intriguing! Just like there have been companies in modern society convincing us that we have to wear a certain kind of shoe when we run, there are universities telling us we have to have a certain kind of education and a certain type of degree to make it in society.

Bunker Roy: Learning from a barefoot movement | Video on TED.com

After watching the video, I looked up the college web site. Here it is.

I am sure that most barefoot people will find this really interesting.

"The Barefoot College"

Barefoot Running Loot

I didn't tell you in my writeup about my time at the 2nd Annual NYC Barefoot Run that we got a little goodie bag.  It feels a little weird to "get" something at a barefoot run because it makes it seem like any other run.  Everybody kind of expects to "get" something nowadays when they go to a run because that's the way it's done and is part of the fun.  I, for one, love having the T-shirt because wearing it in my regular life, at least at this point, is a bit distinctive.  All the other run T-shirts kind of blend all together until they all look like the same T-shirt.  But, in these early days, a Barefoot Run T-shirt is a little unique.

But the whole structure/format/setup of the barefoot run caused one friend of mine to raise a philosophical objection.  She wanted to come to the run only on Sunday, but could not attend all the events on the preceding Saturday.  The fee for the whole weekend was $75.  She wanted there to be a "race-only" fee.  She asked the organizers if this would be possible and they told her no, that the $75 fee applied to participate, whether you were only coming to run the race or not.  After that, my friend wrestled with whether she wanted to pay $75 to just come around the island two times and get a T-shirt.  She decided it was not a good use of her money, and besides that, she found some kind of discrepancy between the fee and the idea that running barefoot was "minimal" and can be looked at as a means to objecting to paying the high prices of the scientifically designed running shoes offered by the big running shoe companies.

My friend raised these objections to me.  Well, I faced the same fee dilemma, also not being able to attend the seminars, talks, workshops, partying and book-signings on the preceding Saturday, but reasoned that I was making a donation to promote a good cause.  I saw it as a contribution to making an event like this possible, a way of supporting the movement in general. My friend's minimalist argument is not lost on me, but there are SO many other aspects of barefoot running to enjoy and so many angles to come from that I don't feel that I'm compromising some kind of principle or anything by paying the fee.

I had intended to share my thoughts about the forward lean aspect of barefoot running.  But, as you can see, I played around with my photo today, and I think it's enough for today to just talk about how I was enjoying the loot from the NYC Barefoot Run.  I shall have to save my reflections on the forward lean for a future blog post.

Barefoot Fresca Goes to the 2nd Annual NYC Barefoot Run

Since I took the photos, and told you all I was going, it would make sense that I write up my experience of the 2nd Annual NYC Barefoot Run for you all, even if it is a bit late.  This post might start out a bit uneventful, but keep reading on because I'm saving the highlight of the day -- when I got to meet a very special barefoot blogger -- for the very end.


I had the most wonderful time in the world.

But the night before the run it wasn't looking so good.  Got a weather update for the run in my email and here's what it said:

"We have access to a building on Governors Island that is just off the ferry.  If it’s raining hard, we will set up the run out of that building ..."

 and

"After getting set up indoors, we will make a go at a run in the rain.  Afterwards, people can return indoors."

To a fair-weather barefoot-runner such as myself, this did not sound very appealing at all.  Every time I imagined what it would be like in that building after running in the rain with all those wet sweaty barefoot runners, I thought "ugh!"  Yet, to not do it would be to miss out on the gathering of like-minded souls.  And it would also mean I would not get to meet one of my barefoot blogging heroes, whom I had been so looking forward to meeting.

Waking up Sunday morning, however, it was not looking too bad.  Unlike last year, at the 1st Annual NYC Barefoot Run, I did not have any companions joining me.  I had to make my way over by myself.  I decided to try driving in, because I wasn't sure if the buses were going to be running regularly on an early Sunday morning.  I was very nervous about parking, and when I got to a certain point on the West Side highway, the police redirected traffic through Manhattan.  This little detour made me a bit late.

So, I caught the last ferry going over to the island.

Amidst the air of celebrity -- whom I think the organizers were referring to as "the Kudus" at this event -- I felt like a very small and insignificant barefoot runner.  So, I felt a little more useful when asked to help carry some boxes coming off the ferry. (See in the photo, the guy with the backpack carrying the box.  He, like me, was a Box-Carrier.  Boxes got loaded on to the little rickshaw).  It made me feel a little more important!

Next was the 15- minute walk over to the part of the island where the race was going to start.

I remember how last year I was all worried about an extra 15 minutes of walking, since I was trying to save myself so I could run twice around the island.  It felt good to know that 15 minutes of walking was nothing this year and would not take away from running (even though I was only planning to run one time around, about two miles).


Instead of the incredibly blue skies and beautiful sunshine from last year, the sky was overcast and gray:

There wasn't a lot of time beforehand for me to connect or talk to people because they were already gathering for the group photo.  If you go to the 2nd Annual NYC Barefoot Run page and look at the group photo, you will see me -- maybe.  Count 8 people in from the right -- about 3 rows back -- and you'll see me standing there in a blue shirt. (I'll tell you a secret.  I chose a bright colored blue shirt because I hoped it would help me spot myself in the photo because last year I couldn't see me.)

This year we were delighted and surprised to kick things off with some beautiful singing -- the singing of The National Anthem by a barefoot-running singer named Melissa.   (If you are on Facebook, you will be able to hear her singing by clicking on the link.)  Melissa had been the sweeper, who had so kindly run alongside me at the "Born to Run" Barefoot Run I had attended summer of 2010 when I was first starting out as a barefoot runner.  I had learned since then that she was a singer, but now I got to hear her for the first time and it was a thrill to hear her beautiful mezzo voice. It was really cool to have such a professional kick-off to the event.

After allowing a couple who got engaged at the event to head out first in the Luna Rickshaw that was being pulled by Barefoot Ted, we all set out on our merry barefoot way.

As I started out, John Durant, who is the co-founder of the Barefoot Runners New York City Meetup group, fell in step alongside me.  What did we talk about?  Why, the weather of course.  How happy we were that it did not rain after all.  I think he left me with the deep philosophical reflection on the fact that when they say 60% chance of rain we always forget that there is a 40% chance that it will not rain.  He is always a very profound guy.

Now, John Durant was very kind to run at my very slow pace for a bit, but I am sure that he could not have continued at that pace forever (nor continue to come up with profound weather statements for much longer).  He needed to get up to speed and head on his way.  Nevertheless, despite how slowly he may have felt he had been running, it was a little bit faster than I usually run.  Due to that fact -- having set a bit faster pace -- I actually found it a little hard to get around the island for the two-mile run I had planned.  Remember, I have not trained that much this summer, so I haven't got much more than 2 miles in me at this given point in time.

As I struggled along, kind of thinking that I might need to stop and walk, which I actually did for a few paces, I spied ahead of me on the path someone who was running a little more slowly than I was (not too many of those out there).  As I was about to pass her, I realized that she was running more at the pace I am accustomed to using, and that I would be better off slowing down to her pace.

I fell in step alongside her and found out it was Marilyn, whom I had met last year at the 1st NYC Barefoot Run, along with her husband John.  They had come from out of state again this year.  Last year, only John had run, but Marilyn had recently taken up barefoot running herself, and this was her first time running at the NYC Barefoot Run.  She remembered me from last year, and we fell in step with each other.  She became my "pacing partner."  John, her husband, came along with us and took some photos:

At one point, back there by that little brown building, my contact lens fell out.  I had a really tough time with sweaty hands and the wind, trying to get it back into my eye.  Marilyn and John were really nice and stood blocking the wind for me.  After several attempts, I managed to get the contact lens back in my eye.

After finishing my one time around, John took a picture of me under the finish line:

Okay, so the run part was over.

Now the highlight of my whole day occurred.  I finally met fellow blogger and barefoot-running mentor, Barefoot Josh.  I felt like I knew him already because he is exactly like he seems on his blog.  I love the fact that even though Josh is a very fast barefoot runner, he makes no judgments and condescends to help the struggling poor little ones find their way into the world of barefoot running.  We had a great, although too short, little chat, and I left that day thinking that as fun as it is to merely go out running barefoot, it is also great fun to meet other people who like to run barefoot too.

Barefoot Fresca and the 2nd Annual NYC Barefoot Run

Oh no!  What have I done?

I let myself get to within a week of the Second Annual NYC Barefoot Run without training all summer and without writing in my Barefoot Blog.

How could I have let this happen?

I have run all of about 20 miles this summer.  All barefoot, of course.

Here's what I figured out I did:  Every Monday, I would "begin again."  It was a summer of "beginning again" over and over again. I went out there faithfully on Mondays.  But during the week I would fail to get out there. (There was a lot going on.)  So, Monday would roll around and I would keep beginning again, beginning again, beginning again ...

It was a little frustrating because I wanted to be doing more, but it just wasn't coming together this summer.

But the good news was that I'm solidly in my bare feet this year.  I have a solid barefoot mile in me at all times, and I have been slowly increasing the distance every Monday. All the surfaces that were hurt-y, pointy, or rough last summer are a piece of cake this summer due to the soles of my feet being in great condition for barefoot.  All my barefoot walking is natural and easy like when I was a kid (last summer it always felt awkward and unnatural.)

Most of all, I just can't even think of putting on shoes to run.  The thought of it bothers me a lot.  I would rather skip running altogether than put on shoes.  Not because this is what I think all people should do or something, mind you.  It is a very very strong personal preference.

Okay, so all this means that I do still belong at the NYC Barefoot Run, right?  Even though I didn't run that far.  Even though I didn't tend my blog.  Even though I lost track of everything happening in the barefoot world? (Well, not everything -- I did buy Barefoot Ken Bob's book when it came out).

But this weekend, all the rock stars of the barefoot world are going to be there, and I had hoped to make a little better showing of myself at the event.  Wouldn't you hope for that if you were coming?  I had hoped to be able to run a few more laps this year (Last year I went around twice for around a 4-mile total.)  The furthest distance I've run on any run this summer has been 2 miles.  That would be one time around the NYC Barefoot Run track.  Maybe I would have liked to be running a teensy bit faster this year, or lost a little weight, or got some cool barefoot runner's tattoo on my ankle or something?

There's no way I can miss this, though. I've been signed up for months and I'm going, even if I have to just walk the second time around.  Really do wish I could run a whole lot farther on Sunday, but this is just going to have to do for this year, and MAKE ME COME BACK AND READ THIS POST before I let this happen again next year!!

I realize my blog needs some pictures, so I'm going to decorate it now with some stuff I made for other blog posts I didn't get to, but intended to, write to you this summer.  All summer long I had intended to tell you about the pair of sandals I got from Zappos which I LOVED and highly recommend for barefoot-loving folks everywhere.

They are called Volcom Knock on Wood Creedlers.  When the reviewers gave a little warning about the shoes having no arch support, I knew they were just what I wanted.

I was a little worried about the ring around the toe, but, like one of the reviewers said, amazingly, you don't feel it at all.  They felt like feathers on my feet and went with a little bit dressier look.

I wore these things ALL summer!  I don't have my own picture of how great the shape of the sole of the sandal is, but it was nice and wide in the forefoot area and a good shape for people who believe toes should be able to splay freely in a sandal.  You'll have to go to the link above to see how flat and thin the soles are.

I was tempted to run in them.  They felt like they feel wonderful running, but I did not think they were sturdy enough to hold out for the running experience.  But the fact that I felt like running in them tells me I might do well in a pair of those running sandals, like the ones Barefoot Ted makes. (Have been holding off on that because I am intimidated by the fact that you have to figure out how to get the tying of them right.)

BTW, I won't get anything if you buy these sandals.  I'm just sharing how much I love them with you like I would share with a friend.  There's probably some affiliate program I could sign up for so that if you click the link and buy them I'd get something, but I'm too lazy to go figure it out, and being that I haven't talked to you all this summer, I want to get this post up there.

Yay! I'm a Black Sash!

Wait a minute.  That's a picture of a brown sash, not a black sash.  I thought she said she was a black sash.

Yes, that is my "old" brown sash you see over there on the left, with all the progress stripes earned over the past year or so.

I told you in the other post that I was being given a second chance to get my black sash.  That "second chance" meant that I had to show up tonight for sparring class, get changed into my gear in 3 minutes or less, and spar whoever was there.

Apparently all the tall men take the sparring class.  I had to fight 5 tall men who punch and kick pretty hard and, frankly, seem to take all this fighting rather seriously.  If I had been able to spar at the black sash test last Friday I would have been in the group of people my height and mixed men and women.  Plus I would have been fighting people who were tired -- not fresh and springy -- which really makes a difference, I tell you.

I got changed into my sparring gear with a minute to spare.  Guess the practice session I had earlier this week served me well.  Despite my careful calculations and accounting for everything, there are always going to be some surprises.  I got changed in the dressing room where all the ladies from the previous class were in there changing and trying to talk to me.  I had to explain -- with a mouthpiece in my mouth -- while changing that I was doing this for my black sash. "Ahm dng dsh fr mah black ssh."

That didn't phase them.  They kept asking me questions.

The other thing -- ha ha -- that I didn't account for was the velcro from my shoes sticking to the rug!!!  You saw me practice outside where the velcro didn't stick.

Nevertheless, all was well.  As I said, I finished with a minute to spare.

As soon as I got out there, the instructor made everyone form a circle and he put me in the middle.

Here's what I wrote to my friend about it:

"The most I had ever sparred was 3 people in a row, but tonight I had to do 5 and it was really hard.  After I got past the 3rd one, Mr. R., my instructor, told me "This is where you have to push through."  I felt like I was sprinting up a mile long hill.  After number 4, he said, "you have to do one more."  He looked me straight in the eye.  I felt like I was dying, but I looked him straight back in the eye and said, "okay, let's go."

Later he told me that when I looked at him and said "let's go," it was what he had been looking for.  And that's what makes you pass the test."

What's funny about this is that this is the kind of intense workout level that I have avoided my whole life.  I felt really winded, like I was doing sprints, or running hills, which are two type of running activities that I don't usually engage in. This was what I was doing during cycle training when my lips turned blue.  I was literally seeing stars at the end of it.

The other funny thing about it is what I told you in another post.  Fighting was about the last thing on earth I ever thought I'd learn to do.  I am a peace-loving person who does not like violence at all.  I was kind of in shock to find out that all this Kung Fu was showing me how to fight.  I have always been the kind of person who had no interest in fighting and I am truly here by accident (if there is such a thing as accidents in this life).

Well, to make a long story short, I did it.  Err -- I mean -- I DID IT!!

And the ritual is that the brown sash is removed and we don't wear a sash until graduation -- which is tomorrow.  I am so-o-o-o happy that I'm going to be moving on to the black sash classes with everyone else and not be left behind.

And now I'm even thinking maybe I'll try running some hills or something.

If at First You Don't Succeed -- Practice!

I'm getting a second chance!  I suppose that means I should practice!  I guess that means I have to put on shoes!  (Grumble, grumble, complain, complain.)

I thought that it would be enough to practice during class each week over the past six months, but it is obvious that practicing a little at home might have been a good idea.  Since getting into sparring gear in 3 minutes is what cost me during my black sash test, it might pay off to do a little homework now.

First up:  The video below shows that I clearly can get into my gear in under 3 minutes -- with 30 seconds to spare as a matter of fact -- at least while I'm fresh.



Next Up:  Knowing My Left Foot From My Right
Because of the delay to get to my bag -- at least, by my estimation, a 20-second one -- there was no room for any errors.  One thing that happened was that when I put the first shoe on, it was on the wrong foot.  I think there has been a question in my mind whether these shoes have a right and a left or whether they are both the same.  For once and for all I should check this out.

This way?

Or this way?

Okay, after a few minutes I figure out that there definitely is a right one and a left one. (the first picture has it right).  But there definitely IS something weird about these shoes.  One of them has a different shape than the other.  It is narrower and comes more to a point (the left one, btw).  No wonder I was confused, but since I had never really studied them, and only got to know them "on the fly," it has actually been helpful to figure it out once and for all.

The next part is the elastic bands.  I thought I had figured out to come around the outside first, wrap under the instep, and then come back up and cross over the top.  But for some strange reason sometimes I found myself having gone the wrong way the first time and had to reverse it, costing precious seconds.

And here is why!!

Will you just look at that?

Well, I'll be!

Both straps are attached in the same direction.  It's not reversed.

I had been assuming they would be mirror images of each other, and that if I had to wrap around the outside on one, it would be the same with the other.

But this homework I'm doing is revealing some strange things about my equipment and my assumptions.

Here's a video to show how it all really works!



The Final Up:  The Glove
If you remember my sad story, when we were called to the floor, I had all my gear on except for the glove.  As I was walking to the floor, I tried to slip the glove on quickly, but two things prevented me.  One was that the glove was curled closed and needed to be "opened" first.  The other was that I had forgot there was a hand strap in the glove so  I went straight for the fingers and missed.

So, here is a video of me settling on a glove technique.



That's it.  That's all the homework for today.  Sorry I can't show you me doing some fancy Kung Fu spinning hook kicks or flying leaps.  It turns out that is not what being a black sash is about.  Being a black sash is about doing homework like this, and practicing things in slow motion and being less than awesome most of the time as you break things down and work things out.